The Final Draft - Page 2

$ha · 09-19-2006, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travkid

Nobody lives in Washington

Bookie/Spaulding/ Verity Farseer theres about 3 more but i cant remember

PhaLanX · 09-19-2006, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travkid

We live in Seattle Mom I have a better chance getting raped and kidnapped just walking down to the park by myself.

This is the single most truthful and powerful line in the entire essay.

The fact of how well written this essay is (for a 12 year old) shows how mature you are TravKid. I certainly hope you are allowed to stay.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FresH as FranK

i told you guys...trav = pwn...i think me and phalanx established that the first game we ever played with him....just pwn...

QFT

SmeaGz · 09-19-2006, 05:10 PM

theres no need to edit this...but i believe all the people that live in washington are...

spaulding
dat
lynx
fraid (?)
thehalogod
t heavy arms t...but he doesnt matter

and more...but none of them are going to take the effort to come rape you

ABUSEDGOAT · 09-19-2006, 05:14 PM

For a 12 year old, this is good.

My suggestions...

Point out that GV has no history of stalkings or whatever like myspace has, this site is mostly just people who play Halo and WOW. At no point are you required to give out your address or personal information.

The older members on the site aren't 'weird old guys' and are just people who happen to have a similar interest that many kids in high school have. It's not illogical to think that on a football based website there are members who are 15 and 30. This site just happens to be about gaming.

The number people who live in your state on GV is irrelevant. The entire site could live in WA, it doesn't matter.

If your mother fears that posting will allow something harmful to happen, what does that say about the members with thousands of posts? There are many people here with 2000+ posts and nothing has happened. You only have 320. Under this logic wouldn't they be targeted first? Since none have it's safe to conclude that there is no danger of posting.

I don't know how smart it was to put your name in the essay thing and post it here.. LOL. Don't end the essay on a threatening (it's your loss) note, you want to make your case so convincing that it would have to be stupid to not agree with you. It also might not be wise to add that you can talk about your personal life on this site. This might be what your mother fears.

SmeaGz · 09-19-2006, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ABUSEDGOAT

For a 12 year old, this is good.

My suggestions...

Point out that GV has no history of stalkings or whatever like myspace has, this site is mostly just people who play Halo and WOW. At no point are you required to give out your address or personal information.

The older members on the site aren't 'weird old guys' and are just people who happen to have a similar interest that many kids in high school have. It's not illogical to think that on a football based website there are members who are 15 and 30. This site just happens to be about gaming.

The number people who live in your state on GV is irrelevant. The entire site could live in WA, it doesn't matter.

If your mother fears that posting will allow something harmful to happen, what does that say about the members with thousands of posts? There are many people here with 2000+ posts and nothing has happened. You only have 320. Under this logic wouldn't they be targeted first? Since none have it's safe to conclude that there is no danger of posting.

I don't know how smart it was to put your name in the essay thing and post it here.. LOL. Don't end the essay on a threatening (it's your loss) note, you want to make your case so convincing that it would have to be stupid to not agree with you. It also might not be wise to add that you can talk about your personal life on this site. This might be what your mother fears.

quoted for the absolute truth.

adding that GV has never had molestation problems ever is a huge point that can probably single handedly let you back on here. and if i were the parent in this situation, id let you stay (not because i have a biased POV because i frequently post here) because you took the effort and time out of your schedule to prove why you deserve the priviledge to get on and chat with us.

Severed · 09-19-2006, 05:38 PM

well written trav. glad to see you held on to those writing tips they give you middle school

i hope you get to stay bro!

lol <3

**SLaYeR** · 09-19-2006, 05:38 PM

wow, im impressed trav, for a 12 year old thats a really well written and well thought out essay, although some things could probably be removed/added (see abusedgoats post for those), but nice job, i hope you get to stay.....

fattony69 · 09-19-2006, 05:54 PM

IMO, I wouldn't threaten that you would talk to them on xbl because she can cancel that and/or your cable service too.

SmeaGz · 09-19-2006, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fattony69

IMO, I wouldn't threaten that you would talk to them on xbl because she can cancel that and/or your cable service too.

so about your sig...do you like, rape kids?

fattony69 · 09-19-2006, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmeaGz

so about your sig...do you like, rape kids?

Nah, I am just making fun of Only

View Poll Results: Will this work?
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09-19-2006, 05:10 PM	#13 (permalink)
SmeaGz GV Elder Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: THE FORT Posts: 8,554 KB Smeagz Tetris Champion!	theres no need to edit this...but i believe all the people that live in washington are... spaulding dat lynx fraid (?) thehalogod t heavy arms t...but he doesnt matter and more...but none of them are going to take the effort to come rape you __________________ http://whatareyou.ytmnd.com/

09-19-2006, 05:38 PM	#16 (permalink)
Severed Vidz Review Team Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Pensacola, Florida Posts: 4,180 sSevered Hexxagon Champion!	well written trav. glad to see you held on to those writing tips they give you middle school i hope you get to stay bro! lol <3 __________________ throwback

09-19-2006, 05:38 PM	#17 (permalink)
SLaYeR Administrator Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Manchester, England Posts: 5,535 I SAS I SLaYeR	wow, im impressed trav, for a 12 year old thats a really well written and well thought out essay, although some things could probably be removed/added (see abusedgoats post for those), but nice job, i hope you get to stay..... __________________ GT: I SAS I SLaYeR - Let me know you're from GV or i wont accept.....

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09-19-2006, 05:14 PM	#14 (permalink)
ABUSEDGOAT Vidz Review Team Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,693	For a 12 year old, this is good. My suggestions... Point out that GV has no history of stalkings or whatever like myspace has, this site is mostly just people who play Halo and WOW. At no point are you required to give out your address or personal information. The older members on the site aren't 'weird old guys' and are just people who happen to have a similar interest that many kids in high school have. It's not illogical to think that on a football based website there are members who are 15 and 30. This site just happens to be about gaming. The number people who live in your state on GV is irrelevant. The entire site could live in WA, it doesn't matter. If your mother fears that posting will allow something harmful to happen, what does that say about the members with thousands of posts? There are many people here with 2000+ posts and nothing has happened. You only have 320. Under this logic wouldn't they be targeted first? Since none have it's safe to conclude that there is no danger of posting. I don't know how smart it was to put your name in the essay thing and post it here.. LOL. Don't end the essay on a threatening (it's your loss) note, you want to make your case so convincing that it would have to be stupid to not agree with you. It also might not be wise to add that you can talk about your personal life on this site. This might be what your mother fears.

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